Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The "B" Word

This morning, four-year-old Bean was pretty upset with me for not letting him get on any electronic devices.

I stood in the kitchen, doing something at the counter. I can't remember what. Anyway, Bean clung to the back of my legs and shouted, "You're a B word!"


I froze in shock. How did my baby, my innocent little guy, hear that word? We never say it around here, and if we watch a show or movie that might use it, he's always in bed. I searched my mind frantically for where he could have picked it up. He'd been outside playing with the neighborhood children, so that might be where he heard it in such a way to use it correctly. Or incorrectly, since he was insulting his mother. Still, if the other children's parents had known, they would have been unhappy with the choice of language as well.

I took a deep breath and said, "What 'B word'?" Then to the other children, "How could he possibly know that word?"

Princess, now eight, piped up from her breakfast at the table, "Mom, I can tell you what the B word is."

Really? I'm simultaneously interested to know this and quite scared. "All right, Princess, what is it?"

In her nonchalant way, she stated, "Mom, the B word is butt." 

I can't even tell you how relieved I was. Of course, Bean was subsequently told that we do not call people names, especially our parents, even if it's just a letter of the alphabet.

"Butt" is a word that we don't care for around here. Fanny, heiny, bottom, posterior, backside, bum, even buttocks sound better to me than butt. In fact, when Bean was newly 3, he used to get angry and call us the worst possible thing he could think of, comprised of two very "bad" words. He'd clench his little fists and say with utmost vehemence, "You STUPID, MEANIE BUTTHEEEEAAAAD!" (Extra vehemence on the "head" part of "butthead.")

 I think my aversion for the word stems from my mother. I'm even cringing typing "butt" because she's going to read this. Hi, Mom! *waves*

Somehow I'd forgotten those days. Bean is a firecracker, but since we put a lot of effort into guiding his massive amounts of energy, it had been quite a while since we'd had an incident like this.

I have to admit that a little part of me is thankful to have been downgraded from a stupid meanie butthead to just a B word.


She's in the kitchen! said...

Hi honey! *waves* :D

Rebecca said...

I knew it! :) Hello, my most ultimately wonderfullest Mommy!