Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Knock, Knock. What's Your Name? Temptation.


If you recognize the title of this post, you probably have kids . . . or babysit kids . . . or you enjoy things kids like. (It's from a VeggieTales episode.) Either way, you get a million bonus points.

We are expecting a humdinger of a storm here in Missouri tonight. Because of this, everyone is clearing the stores out of all perishables . . . and canned goods . . . and things they can't live without for a few days, like collard greens. (No joke. I eat greens a lot because of this healthy lifestyle I've been living, but Walmart is not typically out of bulk lettuce and bags of kale. Yes, I bought the last one. It looked lonely.)


I thought I'd shopped all I needed to yesterday. Then, I find out that my children--who all have hollow legs--had nearly cleared us out of the whole wheat burrito tortilla things I bought at Sam's Club on Saturday.

 A 20 pack.

Since I'm going to be doing lots of cleaning and stuff over the next couple of snow days, I couldn't run out of those. All I have to ask my darling children, in an excited tone, is if they want to make Adventure Wraps for lunch, and everyone will erupt in smiles and joyful hilarity as they run to the refrigerator and begin pulling out everything they can find. (Adventure Wraps, or Adventure Salads, or Adventure Sandwiches are when the kids are allowed to create anything they want, and the only requirement is that they must eat what they make. Fun for them, sanity-saving for me.)

Once out of Sam's, I made a quick Walmart run to grab a few things I forgot last night. On my way to the shampoo/pharmacy/can'tmakeitwithoutrazorcartridgesfortwodayswithoutlookinglikeagorilla area, I noticed a display I'd been dreading for the last few weeks. I'd avoided the Easter candy aisle, but for the first time I can remember, a large display was in the main thoroughfare. Right there, on the side, staring at me.

The world slowed down. Butterflies winged their way through the air, cherubs sounded trumpets, and bunnies frolicked through newly sprung grass, promising spring was just around the bend. The stand of shiny, gold foil-wrapped Cadbury Caramel Eggs shone as if they were the sun which gave life to spring breezes, hope, and chocolate caramel addicts.

It's a good thing Easter is about the Lord, otherwise I would practically worship those golden eggs. (The prophet Moses would be so disappointed in me, even though they are much smaller than a shiny metal calf.)

I could nearly taste the smooth chocolate and silky caramel as those tempters called out to me, "Rebecca, we are your favorite candies in all the land. We only come around once a year. All it takes is one little step, one tiny reach before we are in your cart . . ."

Since I couldn't pour orange juice over them to destroy those little golden nuggets (like Danni did on The Biggest Loser) or I'd get arrested, I quickly rolled the cart by and muttered, "Get thee behind me." People may have given me funny looks--or maybe the looks were for my fuzzy brown Russian hat that I think is awesome, but may in fact appear to be a tiny bear clinging to my head. Anyway, I stuck my nose in the air in defiance at those Cadbury eggs and hurried off.

Maybe I will allow myself one of those delectable, gooey things at Easter. But unlike prior years, I will not buy any now "to save" for later, since history shows I have had to repurchase them several times before then! And can you see why?

Now I am off to make a green smoothie.