Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Battle of the Yucky Bugs!

We've been battling fruit flies lately; they're pesky, evil little bugs that dive-bomb us at every opportunity.   I feel like a special ops agent sneaking around the kitchen to assemble a salad!  The darn things catch one whiff and they turn into produce-seeking missiles. The military really should explore that option. 

These nasty bugs aren't like regular fruit flies; they are almost sticky, crawl a lot and are sluggish when they fly.  Years ago, my mother christened them "Yucky Bugs", and the name, well, stuck.

This morning, the kids were covering their juice glasses with their hands, trying to think of ways to get rid of the Yucky Bugs.

Lion was the first to pipe up. "Maybe we could take all the fruits into a jar, and the fruit flies will get in the jar, and we can take spiders and put them in the jar with the fruit flies, and the spiders will eat them."

Professor liked the spider idea.  "What if we capture some spiders and take them inside, put them near the fruit, then when the fruit flies get near the fruit they'll get caught in a web?"

Lion sat there eating his scrambled eggs, scanning the counter for weapons.  "We could slice the watermelon in half, then the fruit flies will go in and we'll close it and trap them inside."

Professor shook his head.  "But then we couldn't eat it!"

Lion thought for a second.  "Yeah, that's true."

Princess just sat there eating her breakfast one-handed, since she wouldn't remove her palm from the top of her glass.

Bean was blissfully eating toast, unaware of the dire straits we were in.

My cheering section hurrahed from the table as I quickly emptied out the fruit bowl and filled it with hot water, drowning five flies.  My children joined me in shouts of triumph as I yelled out the number of how many I killed.  I shook my head at cries of "I want to do it!" while I smashed fruitflies with a paper napkin, fighting the urge to hurl all the while.  (My biggest fear about learning to drive wasn't that I'd be in charge of a ton of metal hurtling at 70 mph, it was continuing to watch the road and not get sick when a bug splattered on the windshield.)  I didn't want to chance little bug legs, wings and smashed innards wiped anywhere I might find them, so my volunteer extermination squad was out of luck.

Finally, most of the fruit flies were vanquished. Our juice glasses and salad bowls are safer now. 

Peace reigns.  Especially now that I've cleaned off all the counters and the bugs have nowhere to hide. 

A Yucky Bug was just crawling on my shirt and glasses, no joke.  He is no more.  E's bleedin' demised.  He has joined the choir immortal...if there is a choir down there.

He is an ex-Yucky Bug.


Elizabeth Mueller said...

LOL, you're so cute.

This reminds me when my oldest was only 2 years old. I thought I'd show her what bugs look like and do.

I grabbed a jar and threw in a huge horsefly. With that, a large spider.

Guess what?

The fly attacked the spider and laid eggs in it. Soon, they hatched and...


That was NOT what I expected. I didn't want my girl to see that the poor spider lost the battle and that he gave up his life to squirmy white worms.

Eek!!! :P

Angie said...

Fruit flies are definitely yucky! Cute post. You're kids are adorable.

She's in the kitchen! said...

Do you remember we used to make those paper cones to put into a jar? The yucky bugs could get in, but not out. Unfortunately, they ended up breeding in there, and we had more than we started with! I love the kids' imaginations. That's what makes them so much fun for Grandma! :O)

Karen said...

Hehe, an ex-yucky bug. Nah, he's just pining for the fjords!

ali said...


Carrot Jello said...

Maybe I'd be more inclined to tackle our fruit flies if I had a cheering section.

Kimberly said...

Bwahahah! The parrot sketch reference totally cracked me up!

I don't know about yucky bugs, but fruit flies like to breed in sink pipes where it's moist. Pouring big pots of boiling water down the sink helps HUGELY.

kbrebes said...

So cute. You and your hubby are both such great writers. But, you know what? That article I read last Monday said that dryer sheets can get rid of ants and bugs! lol!

Kazzy said...

I totally hate those things. I usually find them in my kitchen when I have accidentally forgotten about some bananas that are at the bottom of the fruit bowl..

Cathy Witbeck said...

You can suck up those little critters with the vacuum cleaner hose. It's like a whirlwind safari. Little rascals never know what hit 'em. And there are no blood and guts involved.

Nancy Face said...

That would drive me CRAZY! I can just picture those stinkin' bugs attacking my beloved avocados that I slice up and devour every day!

Welp, I TRIED to quit blogging, but I missed it too much! Other than my Utah trip and the TONS of pictures I took, I typically post only once a month. That way I can easily find time for visiting and commenting to everyone who comments to me...and it doesn't take over my life like it used to! :)

Helmbunch said...

We make a trap for fruit flies similar to the one your mom makes, however we bait it with a bit of fruit in some water that we have added just a drop or two of liquid soap. The soap kills the flies and so they don't breed. I throw it out and make a new one each week. I truely hate those little flies. We had a ton of them this year.