Monday, March 22, 2010

Love and Dating Escapades #1: First Crush

For those of you who know the content of this post already, my apologies.  I have to start at the beginning to do this right, my chronicling of my so-called love life.

It happened when I was living in Springfield, Missouri.  My first pinpricks of crushdom were for Neal Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser.  He was cute, smart as heck and he typed his journal into a computer.  What's not to love about that?

I was oh, about 11 years old at the time of my Doogie obsession.  I hated his girlfriend.  HATED HER!  I watched it religiously until the show started getting a little too....heavy for my parents' taste.  I missed Doogie, but not having to watch him with her was actually a relief.

Then, when I was about 12, I started noticing real boys.  The first one I ever felt those slight stirrings of attraction for were for Loren.  He was 12 and looked cute passing the sacrament.  He was blonde though, and it took me a little to realize that I preferred dark-haired, older men. ( I have to say that I did give blonde guys a chance in my later years!)  He also didn't have anything distinctive about his personality (that he showed a 12-year-old girl)  and even though he was nice, after a while that attraction waned.  Even then, I was attracted to guys with warm, self-assured, strongish personalities. (James, doesn't that sound familiar? *wink*)

Around the same time, I remember being attracted to my optometrist, Dr. Rice.  I was embarrassed because I was only 12 and he was way older than me--probably in his late 20s.  He was nice to me and I felt ridiculous for liking him, but I could have more easily changed the color of the sky than been able to stop feeling that way. How I wished I could! If I had only known what adventures and heartbreak were ahead, I wouldn't have been as concerned.  I was most worried about someone finding out. Those first sensations of having a crush can be pretty scary for a young girl!  It was as if I should have had a neon sign flashing on my head *NEWBIE TO TWITTERPATED LAND, WATCH YOUR STEP*.  I thought everyone could see everything on my face, I felt so exposed!

Then the real thing hit.  Whoever thinks "puppy love" isn't real has never really been in it.  I developed not only a crush on Seth, but I truly did love him.  He was a good friend.  How I agonized over that boy!  He was 14 when I turned 13, and I pined for him during our "Heart and Soul" duets after Mutual night at church was over.  We used to play around on the piano on the stage in the gymnasium.  ("Play around"= on the piano keys.  With our hands.  Songs.  Now you feel guilty for thinking that, don't you?)

I lived for those nights; his adorable braces and curly brown hair paled in the light of his warm, brown eyes.  We were friends. He was kind, respectful, smart and thoughtful. We had something special. I began to hope that he liked me in spite of  my stringy long hair, round figure, and pink plastic glasses. (I was so happy when I got contacts.  I hoped that would help.)

Then my friend Janae happened to drop the bombshell at her house one Saturday morning. "Did you hear that Seth is going out with Tanya?"

The world stopped spinning.  I felt sick, but didn't want Janae to know.  Her voice faded away as my air castles crumbled dustily around me.

I hated Tanya.  Well, not maybe actually her, because that wouldn't have been fair.  She had no idea I was in love.  I hated what she had.   Curse her for being new in church, curse all her 14 years of shiny, curly, long, black hair and fashionable clothes.

I was so happy when they broke up.

Not too long after that, we moved to Utah.

He never thought of me as anything more than a friend, but he was my first love. I've always wondered what happened to Seth.

It's funny now, but I look back to that time and even then my choice in the type of males I knew I could fall deeply for were pretty well established.  I think I knew, to a point, what I was looking for even at that tender age.

So thank you Seth.  You started me off on my journey to finding James, and you gave me a great springboard to leap off of when I began looking for the love of my life.  I hope you're having a good life with your true love as well.


Heidi Ashworth said...

Ah, so sweet! Good old Doogie--he looks so much younger in that picture than I remember him looking back then. His grown up self sure is cute, fun, smart, talented, wonderful in practically every way. Too bad that I'm married and he is batting for the other side. Love you NPH!

Eowyn said...

Oh, those early crushes. I couldn't like anyone at church--there was too much older brother thing going on there.

I can't wait to read the rest of the stories!

DeNae said...

My version of this story ends with the "Seth" character coming out of the closet after his mission. I really like yours better!

DeNae said...

Now that I think about it, so did Doogie! Maybe we were drawn to the sensitive type back then!

L.T. Elliot said...

Puppy love. It's a painful, painful thing. No one tells you that puppy love feels so serious or that you'll remember that kiss in front of the whole horse show for the rest of your life but you do. You do. ;)

Helmbunch said...

I remember those days, but I always went for the bad guys. The ones that were just a bit naughty, long hair, scruffy, with that dangerous look to them. The Harley was essential to my going out with them. My family just about kissed Bill's feet when I married such a nice, good guy. lol! Fact is that Bill was my first kiss, and well nobody else ever came close. Good story. Well written.

Karen said...

Hmm...should I read the rest of these? I did live through them with you! Sadly I cannot say I had any crushes as cute as this. Had a couple in my very young years, but they went after my older sister.(There is a sister in between us, fyi). Not too exciting and I cannot imagine me ever writing a silly thought I have had. I'm the girl that ripped those journal pages out. :)

James said...

I kind of like these stories. Mainly because I know how it all ends. You snooze, you lose, suckahs! I won the grand prize and you got nothing! Neener neener neeeeeener!


Kimberly said...

I just LOVE James' comment! What a keeper!

I couldn't begin to list the boys I've had crushes on in my life but boys I've truly been smitten to the point of love with? A fairly small list. I had a friend like your Seth and was so crushed when he got married. Luckily I met Neil a few shorts months after he got engaged. =D

Terresa said...

Rebecca: Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. I realized we have a bunch of LDS/Writerly friends in common & that you're also going to LDStorymakers next month! I'll look for you. Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to getting to know you & your writing more.

Write on!!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Can you believe I actually met Doogie when I was 14 ... and talked with him ... and got his autograph. And was on a set with him for a few days while my baby twin sisters were filmed for his show?!? Crazy, huh :) !!

Michal said...

i, too, love james' comment. thanks for remembering-- now i'm thinking about my first loves. who didn't have a crush on doogie?