Friday, January 30, 2009

Help Heather Help a Family Affected By Cancer

Heather of the EO is doing a wonderful, kind thing. For every comment on this post, she's donating $1 to the family of a little girl with terminal cancer. I'm turning comments off on my post so you can go over and comment on hers.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

That's MY Rutabaga!

It's currently After-Lunch-Quiet-Time at our house. I've recently decided to reinstate it.

All three children were in Princess' room playing. I didn't know what they were doing until Professor came out just now and said "Mom, do you know what we're playing in there?"


"Iron Chef America. And the secret ingredient is vegetables."

"That sounds like fun!"

Then he ran back to the room. I smiled at the creativity and harmony that was reigning in our home.

Not one minute later, Princess started crying. Professor came out to tell me that Lion had just been hitting her over the head with the chef's hat. It turned out that they both were fighting over the same vegetable. I'm glad that the chefs in the real Kitchen Stadium don't do this. Although, it would make for an even more interesting show..."The challenger is beating Iron Chef Mario Batali over the head with a radish after they both reached for the same head of cauliflower."

Excuse me while I go scream--

Ok, all better now.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Seven Things About Me That You Never....Oh, Crud.

Hi! *waves* I didn't fall off the face of the earth. I was just sick yet AGAIN for this past week, but I'll spare you the sordid details. Trust me, you want to be spared. As a result I've chained myself and the kids to the house for the next few weeks so that our immune systems can build up some reserves.

After being gone a week (ok, over a week) I was wondering what on earth to write. I had a few thoughts, but they're too deep (or disturbing) for a "Here I am again!" post. Then I discovered that Heidi was kind enough to tag me for the "Seven Things About Me That You Never Knew" tag.

Hooray, I thought. Something to write about!

Then I promptly remembered how boring I really am.

Thankfully I have a hot--I mean wonderful husband who helped me get my brain cells running. First, I have to ban a few people. My mother and my sister Karen. There's nothing I could say that they don't know about me. There. They're officially banned from reading this post. Here goes:

1. I am thirty years old and have never flown in a commercial airplane. My boss, a dentist, took me up in a private plane when I was 18. Thinking about it, that sounds bad. Actually, he knew I'd never been in one at all, had a small plane, and asked me if I wanted to go one day when he was taking his young son up for a few turns about the countryside. I think he called it "touch and go" because we'd go up, fly in a big circle, land for a moment then go up again. It was only scary after we came down the first time and he leaned over me and reached for the door. "Your door isn't latched." Good think I didn't know about it when we were up in the air!

2. I think I have mentioned how the smell of dried ketchup grosses me out. If you think that's weird, I can't eat ketchup by itself at all. I love it on french fries or my veggie burgers, but if a drip gets on my hand after the burger's gone it almost makes me gag to lick it off. So, Rebecca + lonely ketchup = double icky ew. I would also rather my tongue get run over by a steamroller rather than eat black walnuts, blackeyed peas (dirt stew, anyone?) or okra.

3. I love to watch Food Network, especially Alton Brown. That guy is the god of all kitchen knowledge. I bow to his expertise. I also love watching house cleaning shows, where they surprise people with clean houses. I would volunteer to be on one but then everyone would know how messy my house is. Instead I have to keep chipping at it away slowly by myself. What else, lets see...nature shows on National Geographic, Animal Planet and the History Channel. I count those for school for the kids. Funny thing is that they all like watching the other shows with me too. I've been watching more lately since I've been stuck on the couch. At least they inspire me--well, the cooking and cleaning ones do. I think the animal ones inspire the kids.

4. I've lived in New York, (was born there) South Carolina, Florida, Maryland, West Virginia, Missouri, and Utah. Never been further west than Utah. I miss the east coast. We left it when I was eleven, but I really miss the beauty of the seasons. In West Virginia, we lived in Great Cacapon, this little tiny town. To get to it you would take the 'scenic route' which consisted of a scary road on a mountain. From the scenic point (an actual stopping place) you could see Virginia, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and Maryland all at once. It was so beautiful there. *sniff*

5. Without my glasses or contacts, I'm way past legally blind. Which isn't actually legally blind at all, since it's correctable, but it helps people understand how absolutely dire my condition is. My mother used to think it great fun to make faces at me when I wasn't wearing my glasses. She would say "What am I doing now?" and I would say, "I think you're sticking out your tongue because I can see something coming out of your face." We were easily entertained. Oh, and I also had a hole in my retina when I was seventeen. The doctor fixed it with a laser and it really hurt. Afterwards I told him it had hurt. Surprised, he said "Really? It must have been close to a nerve." Some nerve that was. He was a great doctor though, did such a great job there's nearly no scar tissue there.

6. I took dance when I was four years old and loved it so, so much. We couldn't afford to continue, but I always wanted to dance. When I was a teenager and single adult I learned all I could and danced as much at the dances as I could. Ballroom dance was my favorite. I used to teach the guys I danced with to swing dance. I used to beg those who came back from taking dance at BYU to teach me some moves. Someday I'm going to take classes. James has promised to take ballroom with me when our kids are older and we can leave Professor home in charge. A few more years and hooray, free babysitting!

7. I'm on a roll now, only seven? Ok. How about this. My first, biggest crush ever was on Doogie Howser. Remember that show about the teenage prodigy/doctor? I loved him so much that it hurt! I hated, HATED his girlfriend Wanda and was full of angst that he would even go for a girl like her who wasn't worthy to wash his scrubs. Then I hated myself for feeling so much emotion over a character that wasn't even real. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't help it! Doogie was cute and waaay smart. Goes to show that even at eleven years old I had a thing for good-looking, super intelligent guys. Then I look at James and say "Who's Doogie? Oh yeah. I married him." Except James is way better looking and fixes computers instead of people. We don't require many surgeries around here, so I'm glad he fixes computers. Ours is always running top notch.

I'm guessing that I'm supposed to tag seven people? goes. I don't remember who's been tagged for this or not, so if you already have, time to think of seven more things!


L.T. (Hee hee, you had to know this was coming!)


Kimberly (who never did the last one I tagged her with so she owes me, *evil cackle*)


Karen (who doesn't owe me because I just remembered that I forgot to do her tag months ago, but it would be fun to see her answers. Also, I know she'll read this even though she was banned from the post. Consider this punishment, dear sister!)

Nancy Face



Whoops! Is that more than seven? Oh well.

Friday, January 16, 2009

C-a-a-n You Feel the Love To-n-i-i-i-g-h-t

If you don't want to read any more of my 'icky' posts, skip this one. I know I've had way too many of them this winter, but I can assure you, if I could stop these experiences from happening I would!

It's after 1:00 in the morning and I'm still up. I got caught up in reading blogs while waiting until it was time to take my 24-hour insulin.

I was planning to go to bed. But I didn't. It got later and later, and at about midnight, just as I was about to turn in, I heard the boys' door open. It was Lion.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He's not usually a get-up-in-the-middle-of-the-nighter.

"I have to go poop." That was unusual.

"Go ahead."

I asked him sometime when he was up if he had to barf, and he said no. I don't know why I asked him that, except that Princess, Professor and I all had the throwing up illness twice. One with a 36-48 hour incubation period, and another with about a 3 day incubation. Princess came down with it last on Sunday night, (actually 3:30 Monday morning) so I thought we were about all in the clear. Lion was the only one who didn't have it. James had it once.

Lion went back to bed and I stayed up. I didn't know why. I let the dog out and was ready to get off the computer when I heard his door creak open.

"Mommy, I'm going to barf." Talk about a mother's intuition.

I jumped up, words stumbling out of my mouth as I ran around the corner. "Quick, barf in the toilet, hurry--" One look at him and I knew he wasn't going to make it. I looked at the floor in desperation. There was a clear storage bin sitting there among dirty towels, a toy stroller, a rug cleaner and other junk; shining as if illuminated from a light from above. My personal Holy Grail. I grabbed it as he started choking and spatters began hitting the floor. I shoved that thing underneath my poor baby just in time. I tried to hold my breath, rubbing his back as he heaved repeatedly. My queasy pregnant tummy couldn't handle it. I desperately wanted to stay until the end, but I choked out "Sit down!"as lovingly as I could as I placed the bin on the floor and ran away. Yep, I ran away from my child in his moment of need. Reaching the living room, I gasped for air, praying it wasn't too late for my tummy. The waves of nausea slowly subsided, and Lion was freed from the pain of having a puking partner for the same bin.

I got him a new pair of pajamas, and he snuggled back into bed with the aptly named "barf bucket". It's a white bucket with a handle that used to hold several pounds of peanut butter. Every family has their special bucket. If you don't, you should. James' family mentions the "blue bowl" or was it the "blue pan". I don't remember, but even I know what they're referring to when they say it. The only requirement for the bucket that it be large enough the situation, and small enough that anyone in the family can cling to it desperately without falling in.

After he was safely in bed, I used the towels on the tiny bit of mess left, took care of the no-longer-shining bin, and sat back at the computer. I knew that Round Two couldn't be far ahead. I was not disappointed.

Poor guy. After he was finished, he went to sleep. And I'm still up. He's growing up so fast. He'll be seven years old on Saturday. At least he'll be better for his birthday. I'll write more about him later, as this mommy needs to sleep. But he hit a milestone today. Lost his first tooth two nights ago, but this one is bigger.

This is the very first time ever that he's run out of his room saying he needed to barf, instead of upchucking over his entire bed. Professor did that too for the first time a month ago. What? Two kids who won't need their bedding changed three times a night when they're sick? I think they're growing up too fast, but this is heavenly!

I'm glad I stayed up, otherwise I would have had a big mess to clean. At least it wouldn't have been bedding, although that giant food storage bag of potato flakes sitting in the hallway wouldn't have fared well. (Hey, no judging! I haven't figured out where to put it yet!) I'm not happy with the level of clutter in the house, but at least that pan was there. Oh, I'm in love with that pan right now. I'm learning to be happy with little things.

When I conquer the clutter? I'll just keep empty bins everywhere. Or maybe just wastebaskets by each bed, and tell them if they ever wake up sick to barf in them. Hopefully they'd remember. Ok, I'm rambling again, so goodnight.

I think I may be too excited by this milestone to sleep!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Writing Blog Update and Book Recommendation, Edited to Add

Thanks to all who stopped by my 100th post! Baring myself was exciting and liberating! I have made my writing blog private, so if you would like to watch as I fumble through writing, email me and I'll send you an invitation.* My email address is on my sidebar. If you want to wait until it becomes a bestseller (haha) that's ok too.

I will be asking for feedback when I get further into the story. Right now, I would get too bogged down in rewriting the first chapters and not ever finish the whole thing. I already know that I need some extensive rewriting of the first two chapters, but I want to plod on with the story until I get a significant amount of it done first. I did rewrite the prologue, which throws off the tone of the first chapter some, but in the end it will all be fine. Hopefully, anyway.

Last night James picked up a copy of Heidi Ashworth's "Miss Delacourt Speaks Her Mind" from the library. I highly recommend it, especially if you're a fan of Jane Austen type stories. It was witty, fun and refreshing! Sir Anthony actually reminds me a little of James before he met me. I found myself giggling girlishly over nearly every page! Ginny is the perfect heroine, and Sir Anthony the type of steel every woman wishes to temper. I laughed out loud in several places, mostly at Lucinda and Lord Avery. I would tell you more but then I'd have to kill you. Nope, actually Heidi might kill me if I did! It's best if you find out the deliciousness that is this book on your own. I recommend reading it in bed with a box of chocolates. I had to forgo the chocolates, but it was quite tasty in its own right! Kudos to Ms. Ashworth!

*I'm editing this post to add that the reason I'm going private with the writing blog is because of my paranoia. I can't bear to not know who's reading it. I'm ok with that on this blog, but that one is different. My imagination will go crazy with thoughts of who's reading and why, that it must be pure poopy, people are laughing at me, things that will keep me from focusing on the story. I have the hope that by keeping it open to people who are even slightly interested I'll get the motivation to keep plugging away at it. It's not from any notion that I think my ideas are so fantastic that they must be kept secret, it's because of my all too wild imagination!

Monday, January 12, 2009


Cue the trumpets!

This is my 100th post.

I've been wracking my brain on exactly what to do for this post. I know some bloggers do giveaways or really cool things like contests, but I'm not that cool.

I love to blog. I love reading your blogs. The honesty, hilarity and soul-searching you all do have me in awe. Thank you for coming over to see me! You have all touched my life in many ways. I would write some deep, soul-stirring post about how much your words mean to me, but I wouldn't know what to say.

I do, however, know how to embarrass myself. I will celebrate my 100th post by baring myself for everyone. No, not like that! Well, it was almost like that.

I'm in the Primary presidency at church. (For you non-LDS readers, it's the church's organization for children.) Part of my Sunday duties include running around getting things for teachers, meeting with the other presidency members, making sure no one is clogging up the toilet with toilet paper, etc.

Our Primary room has a different setup. We have a long, rectangular room. There are dividers that we pull open that will hook together to make four rooms on the sides of the big room, two on each side. If we have those closed, we either have to open the divider to get into the room, or walk up to the head of the room, turn to a little tiny alcove, and there's a door.

Yesterday I was so happy that I was prepared for church, and had my clothes all ready. I figured that even though this particular skirt had been big, my slightly larger pregnant tummy would fill it out enough to wear. I didn't see the hole that I thought I had repaired, so at church I went to the library to staple it. That done, I went back to the main room to bring something to the teacher in the back right classroom, the one you need to go behind into the alcove to get to.

I finished with them, and turned to go back to the rest of the presidency who were seated at a table not three feet away. Standing to the side was the spouse of the secretary, the counselor over the Primary.

As I walked towards them, I tripped on something. It was my skirt. I exclaimed "Oh, my!" and jumped back out of the view of the counselor, grabbing my skirt and jumping backwards in one fluid motion. I don't know if he knew what was going on until his wife told him to move back out of sight. I slipped my skirt on, thankful that I had worn a slip, while the Primary president nearly fell out of her chair laughing. It was a good thing that door hadn't opened as the class has about seven boys. What could have made it even worse? It was Professor's class. Oh, yeah.

Needless to say, I headed back to the library to staple my skirt tighter. My sister was there with her baby. Her words when I told her? "Oh, no! That's awesome!" Yep, we rejoice in each other's (Is that correct punctuation, Annette?) tragedies.

So, I figure, what better way to further celebrate my 100th post than to bare myself even further! No, definitely not what you're thinking. Shame on you.

I've been s-l-o-w-l-y attempting to write a book. I've debated back and forth about sharing any of it with anyone who's not family, but I've decided to choke back the fear (Thanks, Kimberly!) and do it. I'll only leave it up a day (or at least an hour) before making it private again.

Maybe it's not the best idea for me to do this, but what the heck. I'm writing it for my children. It's a series of bedtime stories I made up for them that they loved so much I want to write them down. Professor gets after me when I don't work on it for a long while, and he loves to read each new installment. I'm not the kind of writer who gets into tons of detail and endless worlds like Robert Jordan or JK Rowling, I often wonder why I'm even trying when there are scads of people with lots of imagination and gobs of talent. Then I remind myself that it's for me, for my children, and I keep plodding on with my simple story. At this rate it'll be finished in time for my grandchildren.

The only thing I ask is that you leave a comment on this post. I know that there are some of you who visit me on a regular basis, but haven't ever commented. As of now, I grant clemency. I'd like to know who reads the stuff I write! It's ok if you know me in real life or have been reading for a while. (I hate the term lurker!) Please let me know you stopped by. I'm not a person who begs for comments, but I'm hoping you'll indulge me on my celebratory day!

Here's the book--er--thing. Well, the first couple of chapters. I'm into the sixth, but I'm not ready to post them all yet.

Please be kind. I'm not looking for a lot of criticism at this point in its infancy, just sharing it with anyone who might be interested. (Hi, Mom!) Of course, if there's something glaringly wrong or confusing, let me know. If you're still here, thank you for reading. You all make my day, over and over again.

Well, enough jibber-jabber. Here it is: Knights of the Forest

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Who's Googling Now?

It's time for another edition of........."Who's Googling Now?"

I have to wonder why people Google some of these things. Here are two dozen of the searches that this blog has popped up on since last summer. Oh me, oh my!

1. "dirty limiriks" First you have learn how to spell 'limerick'. Next...well, shame on you.

2. "watching the great mouse last night" Are you referring to Mickey Mouse, or is your only form of entertainment watching an oversized mouse run around your living room? Or maybe by "great" you mean as in a really cool, wonderful mouse. To each his own, I guess.

3. "very strange dreams" Yes. I have those. Often.

4. "mushrooms growing under toilet" Not anymore. James fixed our leaky toilet problem.

5. "becoming superhuman" Should I notify the authorities on this one? I hope there is no one out there who's discovered how to become the next Hulk. Sorry I couldn't help you here, buddy.

6. "i love him but i'm moving away" I'm so sorry to hear it. I would, however, like more information. Are you referring to your boyfriend, your mailman, the guy who gives you free cookies at the sandwich shop, or maybe your hair stylist?

7. "I'm blind" "new glasses"?authority=n" Huh? If anyone gets this, let me know please.

8. "super bowl logos" If you're designing, you're looking in the wrong place.

9. "drowning in pee" If that's the case, why are you on the internet? Don't you know it's not safe to use electronics around liquid?

10. "who is googling now " Ok, that's just creepy.

11. "toilet paper bikini" I hope you know that won't last two seconds once you hit the water.

12. "It's like hey I know who's googling." From some of these, you can bet I wish I did. Well...on second thought, some of

13. "moving away forever" I'd like to see you have a better reason than I did. (Warning. Most humiliating post I have on this blog.)

14. "new household needs" Since you asked, I could use a few things. Thanks.

15. "pregnancy walmart fried chicken" Are you asking if it's safe during pregnancy? I seriously doubt it.

16. "i don't want to be a phlebotomist" I don't think it's required or anything. Who has told you otherwise?

17. "how do you develop a more positive self-esteem?" There are many ways. Refer to #13 for one of the ways best not to do it.

18. "what's wrong with latex gloves" Not much unless you're allergic or they have holes.

19. "latex gloves of lady doctor" Why does the doctor's gender matter? I'm glad they use gloves, but those suckers are always cold. Maybe I should invent a latex glove warmer.

20. "way of thinking is becoming more positive" That's wonderful!

21. "rubber glove hand gag" I think someone is obsessed with gloves. Either that, or wants to play a joke on someone terrified of germs.

22. "my foot" swollen blogurl:" Perhaps you should see a doctor, especially if your blog url is that swollen.

23. "growing mushrooms on toilet paper" As long as it's fresh toilet paper, I don't see why not.

24. "why am I constantly misplacing things?" I don't know how you think I can help you. If you find the answer, let me know!

That's it for this edition of "Who's Googling Now?"

Leave your tips in the hat below. Thanks and have a great day!

Monday, January 5, 2009

When Family Home Evening Takes an Unexpected Turn

We were sadly unprepared for Family Home Evening tonight. Before it started James and I were racking our tired brains for ideas.

Me: "Do you have an idea for a lesson?"

Him: "No."

Me: "How about a New Year's resolution for our family?"

Him: *crickets chirping*

Him: "How about listening to the Holy Spirit?"

Me: "Sounds great."

Him: "Kids, it's time for Family Home Evening!"

James told them the story of how two Thanksgivings ago, we were saved from hitting a deer or two on the highway because I felt prompted to wait and pray for safety. Great lesson. Professor listened in his usual awe, Lion halfway did and Princess paid no attention. Typical unplanned FHE.

Then somehow the kids got on the subject of what to name the baby. I think Lion asked about it. Then they started coming up with names. Here is a list, not in its entirety. I can't remember all of them, and refuse to post some of them because when kids get silly, random body parts are supposedly allowable names for a sibling. I guess I should accept that, since they've used them on each other before. There were also crazy made-up ones that I forgot as soon as I heard them.

Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader (suggested multiple times by Lion. They watched Star Wars for the first time on New Year's.)
Luke Skywalker
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Glacier (Suggested several times by Professor with a very hopeful voice)
James Junior, nicknamed JJ
Jaden (There's a kid in Lion's Primary class whose name is Jaidon)

I wish I could remember more, but I was laughing too hard. My mind is a sieve anyway, and most things fall through even when I'm not pregnant. When I am, well, it's a good thing I don't run a country or anything.

My vote is for the most original one. Princess came up with it. Every kid in the world wishes to have a name so cool. Ready?


Are you sure?

Ok, here it is:

Elephant Toot-Toot.

What kid wouldn't love that name? He/she wouldn't have to worry about insults, because he/she'd already have one built in.

And I have to admit, 'Glacier' is kind of cool. Haha. I just made a joke without realizing it. But our kids have more traditional names, so it wouldn't fit in our family. Maybe I can sell it to a celebrity for a couple mil.

See the great experiences you can share when you have a family night?

Ah, the memories.