Monday, October 26, 2009

Google: New God on Mount Olympus

Since Google is the new Greek god of all information, both useful and useless, I appeal to him for the most mundane things. Well, especially when I'm overtired or bored.

I love how the "suggestions" list pops up when I'm doing a search. Sometimes I think "Exactly! I couldn't have phrased it better myself!"

Other times I just shake my head. Like today, for example.

As impatient as I am, I decided to Google "how long Home Depot delivery take" because I'm going to Home Depot in about an hour to see about buying a new washer and dryer. I got as far in my search box as "how lon" before that good old suggestion box popped up. I don't know if they're based on most popular searches or not, but I got a good laugh.

1. how long does weed stay in your system

2. how long does it take to get a passport

3. how long does alcohol stay in your system

4. how long does it take to get pregnant

5. how long to boil corn on the cob

6. how long to boil an egg

So, instead of finishing my search, my imagination starts to run away with me.

Picture a guy waking around 3 pm on a Saturday. The details of the night before are very fuzzy, but as flashes of memory begin to flit through his numb brain he groans. Head pounding as he stumbles to the computer, he types the first question because, hey, he has a job interview on Monday. More flashes of memory...he remembers how he got that weed...so he looks up the second question. The ticking of the clock is like nails driving into his skull and his brain so full of cotton that he types the third question. Then, wincing as he remembers other stupid decisions he made, he types the fourth.

A growling rumble interrupts his searching and his thoughts turn to food. Rummaging in the fridge, he extracts from the perishing contents a single ear of tasseled corn and two eggs. He had thought corn would be a good idea a week ago, but he doesn't know how long to boil it for. Could he boil it with the eggs? Heck, he wasn't even sure how long to boil eggs!

May as well ask Google. He knows everything.

8 comments:

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...too funny!

The google searches that lead people to my blog often disturb me. I mean, I use google far too often myself, but the way people use it to do their thinking for them worries me. I did get a giggle recently when someone asked google a question and tacked a "please" on. Nice that some people even use manners on search engines!

L.T. Elliot said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!! Excellent post, Rebecca! I'm so glad to see you again. *hugs*

mindyluwho said...

Oh, that's hilarious! I don't think I've ever asked google a question before...

Sure have missed you!

Jen said...

This is so funny! I love those lists too--I always figure if someone else has searched that enough to land it on the list, its going to yield better results than my own search terms would.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Clearly I would know a lot more and be frustrated a whole lot less if I googled more often. Now what did I do with that weed . . .?

An Ordinary Mom said...

Thanks for the good chuckle :) !!

Heather of the EO said...

Hilarious!

I always have to laugh at the google searches that land people on my blog (I have a sitemeter)

My fave - How long is my attention span?

I don't think they're getting any good information from ME.

Thank you for your comment today. Really. I was JUST thinking of you, and since I don't check my google reader hardly at all anymore, I thought you weren't blogging anymore. So your comment meant that I got to come for a visit. And I'm so glad!

無奈 said...

Gods mill grinds slow but sure........................................