Wednesday, June 3, 2009

In the Last Month

Warning: Another TMI post ahead.

Scenario: Mom is in the shower. 8 and 7 year old boys charge into the bathroom.

Boys: "We have to go poop!"

Mom: "One of you go downstairs!"

Professor leaves.

Lion proceeds to do his business.

Mom, gasping in the shower: "Lion, FLUSH NOW!"

Lion: "I can't, I'm not finished wiping!"

Mom, gagging and heaving: "It doesn't matter, flush twice! FLUSH NOW!"

Lion: "I caaaan't!"

Mom throws up in the shower.

Mom, calmly: "When you poop, you can flush two times. Once after you poop, then again after you wipe."

Sounds of flushing

Lion, proudly: "There, I flushed!"

Mom, sighing: "Thanks, honey."

That about sums up the past month. That, and I've had these two songs stuck in my head alternately for the past month. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Can you guess which one is a result of someone's children being obsessed with a movie from her youth? 100 points to whoever knows what the other song means! It's cryptic, I know. But it's awesome.


Kimberly said...

One of the kids climbed onto my lap holding a cold hot dog wiener in their hand. I about lost it. Your experience? About 100 times worse I would think. Yuck!

Love that last song - such fun!

Annette Lyon said...

Oh, that's awful, in a totally I have to laugh about it but feel bad for you anyway kind of way.

L.T. Elliot said...

I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!! HOORAY!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!! I loves you, Rebecca!
(exclamation points, much?)

I'm so sorry about the barfing in the shower. I hear you, babe. I once barfed on the table of a fancy restaurant while I was preggers. They just had to fold up the nice white table cloth and haul it away like Santa Claus. That poor bus boy. I think he still hates me.

I'm so glad you know "birdhouse in your soul" too! I always laugh about that song. It does get stuck though!
Um...I'm guessing that the Brazzle-Dazzle is about having to get back to cleaning and trying to have a good attitude. At least, that's what's on my mind. =[

I'm so happy to see you!!! I loves you!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Um, I have never heard either of these songs. Oh! I'm so old!!! Thanks for posting--it's good to hear how you're getting along even if it's about poop and barfing. :)

Jeni said...

I often get the same TMBG song stuck in my head. One of my favorite songs from my youth. Sorry you're so ill. Maybe try putting something that smells nice in the shower so you can quickly open it and dive your nose right in. Or...just lock the door! :)

Aubrey said...

Wow, Pete's Dragon! I forgot about that movie. I should show that to my kids. They would really like it.
And I love TMBG but have no idea what that song means. It's a catchy tune that I have not heard in a long time. I need to play that for my kiddos, too.
Sorry about the puke-fest, but I have to say that I laughed at the story. What a mom moment.
Hang in there! You're almost done!

Rebecca said...

Thanks guys!

Yeah, I'm getting close. Due in eight weeks.

Jeni, I would lock the door...but alas, the lock doesn't work! I should have thought to grab a bottle of shampoo and smell it!

mindyluwho said...

Poop and a steamy bathroom...not a good combo anytime, least of all when you are pregnant! At least you were in the shower where you could wash up after!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Yikes ... I suppose at least you had the shower already going. So sorry!

And I am impressed that I know both of those songs rather well. Hopefully they don't get stuck in my head :) !! I have had the Wicked soundtrack stuck in mine lately.