Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A Letter to my Baby Boy

Dear Little One,

I'm sitting here on my bed, listening to my playlist bopping away from the living room. It's on the family computer. My "work" music, since I love listening to upbeat music while I clean. But, I'm not cleaning. I'm resting, even though it's hard. But I want to give you the best chance I can, and that means taking care of your mommy.

We have known for a long time that we would have another little boy. Daddy even told me as much before I became pregnant with Princess, and I knew he was right. We just didn't know when.

When I found out you were coming to join our family I had a very strong feeling that this would be a very difficult time to go through physically, emotionally, and mentally for me, and this has proved to be true. I didn't know whether you would be ok or not. I had no idea what to expect, and some of that is still unknown. But every time I feel you move in my growing tummy gratitude hits me. I feel your soul already, your sweet little spirit--and it's beautiful. You seem calm, from your little taps and movements. You rarely kick anything with force--unless it's a sonogram or dopplar wand, and I don't blame you. You love to hear your Daddy's voice! I really do appreciate you not kicking me hard. You actually remind me a bit of your oldest brother when I was expecting him which is interesting, since you calm down when you hear his voice. Whoever you turn out to be, you will fit right in with the rest of us who love you.

Everything I have gone through, everything I will go through is worth it. I would do it a hundred times over for you if I had to. Daddy and I have loved you for a very long time, from the moment we knew you were going to be joining us. Your brothers and sister can't wait to meet you! They have oohed and aahed over you even when you resembled more of a bean than a little boy.

I am eagerly anticipating the day that I, covered with perspiration and filled with exhaustion, will take you into my arms and gaze with relief and peace upon your little face. I will snuggle you close, kiss you and reassure you that I'm still there though your world will be upside down.

Daddy and I will discuss you in awe and wonderment. I wonder--will you even up the noses? Only Professor has mine. Will you have Daddy's mouth? Only Lion has his. Will you be the first to have my ears? The birthmark two of your siblings share? Most of all, who will you be? No matter who you resemble, the exciting thing is meeting you. I can't wait to get to know you as you, little one, with your own unique personality.

There were many times I felt like someone was missing from our family. That empty space is now filled, the hollow feeling vanished. You have been waiting to come join us, and we are eagerly waiting for you!

Even though we're excited to see you, please stay put for another nine weeks. It will most definitely be worth the wait.

I love you.




Aubrey said...

This is so very sweet. I didn't realize how difficult this pregnancy has been (probably since we have a virtual friendship :).
But I love reading how you have felt this little spirit. I have felt my babies hanging around us before they were born and had a sense of their personalities. It is such a precious time.

I hope he hangs in there for the next couple of months! And you too! Be well.

mindyluwho said...

Beautiful. Right after I had my fourth child I had an experience that told me there was another waiting. He came and then another one after that! Each child is so precious.

Heidi Ashworth said...

How wonderful! I can't wait to hear whose nose and mouth he has. :)

An Ordinary Mom said...

Are you thinking he might come early? I am praying he is born healthy and strong!

What a beautiful letter you have written. A true treasure!

Kimberly said...

Given current circumstances, this made me all gooey and smiley and teary. Beautifully said.

Michal said...

what a sweet, heartfelt letter to your unborn son. can't wait for you to meet him.

Debbie said...

What a sweet and wonderful letter. It was a privilege to read it.

LexiconLuvr said...

You are exactly the mother I want to be. These sweet words say so much about you--about the wonderful woman that I know and love. I'm so thrilled for new baby boy but please take care of you, mommy. You're wonderful. You're unique. You mean more to me than I can express. Please, please take care of you. XOXO

She's in the kitchen! said...

It won't be much longer for us all to finally see this sweet little baby boy. The time seems to be going by faster...maybe not for you though! Oh, what an exciting time of anticipation...I can't wait! :-)

Jen said...

This is a beautiful post. I admire your ability to keep perspective in tough times. What a lucky little boy to have you for his mother.

Jeni said...

Beautiful sentiments, Becca.

Larky Lady said...

You made "me" teary eyed. Well done, Becca!