It is 1:30 am and I'm up because I'm hot. No, I'm not bragging. The thermostat says 71, but I'm sure it's lying.
Such a weird reversal! Usually it's James who's too warm. Now my feet are warmer than his, this little bun is causing the oven to overheat. Too bad that has no effect on the weight gain. The nurse has told me that insulin can do that to you. Well, Mr. Insulin, I don't like that at all! You didn't do this to me when I was pregnant with Princess. No siree, you didn't. I don't like how you're acting now!
My fingers are itching. Trembling to burst from the hold I put on them from connecting with most everyone I know (except on Google chat with my mother). I've restrained them far too long, limiting them to dispensing advice to scared/frustrated/sad/freaking out pregnant women on the Babycenter.com boards: "No, no amount of cocoa butter will prevent stretchmarks. No, turning over in bed will not cause the cord to wrap around the baby's neck. Yes, your husband is a jerk for not wanting to go to the beach with you for a walk, but going instead with his (male) cousin who offers to bring some beer and talk. However, texting him that he's in trouble when he gets home and laying into him about it repeatedly isn't going to make him want to spend time with you anytime in the next 200 years. "
You know, advice like that. Since obviously, I am the fountain of all wisdom. Or maybe it's just because I have nearly 10 years of marriage under my belt, and going on 4 children. Sometimes you learn to let things go a bit.
Life is finally slowing down for me as it begins to speed up.
I quit running the natural-foods co-op. It was something that I had been thinking about a few months ago, but since things weren't organized well I decided to get things in better shape before handing it off. I didn't feel right about leaving a mess behind for someone else to clean up. It began working out quite well and had support from the majority of members, but there were a couple of major bumps in the road. After days of trying to work things out, I felt the best thing to do was resign. After much prayer I felt impressed to take the high road and stop everything in its tracks by letting it all go. So, that's what I did. I take comfort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows exactly what happened/didn't happen.
Because of all that I was jumpy even checking my email for a few weeks. I still get a start sometimes when I see new messages in my inbox. My kids suffered, my house has become perilous to navigate. I'm just beginning to come out of my cocoon. I was wrapped up pretty tightly inside it, a mess of emotions in a sticky, dense fog. But it's getting much better now. I'm even hoping to begin updating my decluttering blog again.
I wish I didn't do that, that I didn't take so much to heart. I wish I didn't care so much sometimes. But as much as I wish that or pray to not let things get to me, that's who I am. Ouchy, yes. But if I didn't feel that way, would I still be me? I guess not.
Depending on which way you chart it, I've either been in the third trimester for one day, it starts today, or on Sunday. This little bean still doesn't kick a whole lot. If he's mellow I don't know how he'll handle this family!
So, in a nutshell, I'm getting back to myself and my family. Even with Lion crying dramatically "You ruined my li-i-i-i-i-i-i-fe!" a few times, we're all ok. (I 'ruin his life' on a daily basis, usually every few hours.) The kids have been troopers and we're all hanging in there until next week, when James will FINALLY be done with his master's degree! We're so, so proud of him. We've missed him a lot these past couple of years, but we know it'll be worth it. Only a few more days...his last assignment is due Tuesday. Then, graduation next Saturday! Maybe, if things settle down at work he'll even blog again!
I'm also giving a shout-out to my little sister Karen. She and I are half-birthday twins, born 5 1//2 years apart to the day. I love her so much! It's been really fun seeing her grow as a mom to an adorable little Pixie who turned 1 year old this month. It's Karen's birthday today, so if you'd like you can go to her blog over at Blivit Contemplations and wish her happy birthday!
I think it's a bit cooler now, so I'm going to try to sleep. Hopefully the rest of you are already in dreamland. Goodnight!