Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Today Before 11 am

I woke up this morning to my Prince Charming's kiss and prayer before he left for work. I was still pretty zonked from my bout with insomnia the night before, so began drifting off to sleep.

Next thing I heard was "Becca? Do you have to go anywhere today?"

"Um..yeah! Dance class, martial arts...it's Tuesday!" (Busiest day of the week, excluding Sunday.)

"My van won't start. I could come home at lunch..."

"But the class starts at noon."

"Oh."

"I'll take you."

Everyone throws shoes on with lightning speed (why won't they do that for just me?) and Princess gets carried out to the car, barefoot.

We drop Daddy off, get back home, and I start oatmeal, the steel-cut kind that takes a while to cook. Then I load the dishwasher, because I didn't do it last night and all our bowls are encrusted with junk.

We eat oranges. All except for Bugaboo, who ate about 3 pieces. Even bribing him with points for his point chart (post soon to follow) didn't work.

Got online to check email and Ebay auction, I'm still winning.

Bought a Leapster on Amazon, the older version. Only 52 more points before Bugaboo earns it. By the time it gets here, he'll have his points.

Kids whining and hungry, by 10:00 the dishwasher goes to "dry" and we get our breakfast. While the younger ones eat and Professor is starting his math, I head for the shower. I was about to crawl out of my skin since my last shower was Sunday.

In the shower, I realize that I ran out of body wash, despite the fact Sunday that I made a strong mental note to remember to get one out of the closet. Strong mental notes only work if you write them down on paper, tape them to your forehead and look into the mirror.

"Professor!" I yell. Several times. Finally I hear the door open.

"Yes Mom?"

"Would you please get me a new bottle of body wash from the closet?" He's rescued me from this before.

I hear him moving around.

I sigh. "The closet. Left shelf."

He's rummaging. "Shower gel?"

"Yes, that's fine. Just pick one. It doesn't matter which."

Incoherent mumbling, probably reading the different varieties.

"Just pick one! It doesn't matter which."

A hand appears in the shower, holding a fresh bottle of Bath and Body Works Vanilla shower gel. (I stock up at the clearances.)

"Oh, thank you! You're a lifesaver!"

He responds, "Now you should smell better."

Pause.

"Thank you so much, dear."

After that, I got clean and yes, I think I do smell better.

A few minutes later, I was standing in the middle of the living room. I'm not sure why, I may have been lost. It happens often. Actually, I think I was searching for clean clothes among the piles of clean laundry on the couch and baskets. Hey, no judging! At least they're clean!

Princess entered the living room, cradling an overgrown red banana pepper:

"Poor little pepper. Poor little pepper."

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Poor little pepper. It died. It's squishy." We went back and forth about this a few times, me saying "I know" and her saying "It's squishy".

Finally I told her "Oh, it's ok. It just got a little dry. Go put it in the kitchen."

"So it can come back alive?"

"Sure." I've relaxed my standards on lying to my children. I go less mental that way.

From the kitchen, a little voice is heard, presumably as the unfortunate pepper is put on the counter. “Poor little pepper”.

She is so maternal.

It's nearly time to leave for dance class, and as I'm finishing up this post, Bugaboo yells from the bathroom, "WILL SOMEONE GET ME SOME TOILET PAPER!"

"Just a second!" I call.

Princess runs down the hall. "I'll get it! Never fear, Supergirl is here!"

I love superheroes, especially in my house.

I'm quite curious as to what the afternoon holds in store.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

What Was That Again?

On Saturday mornings James and I have a tradition.

We tell the kids to go ahead and watch TV while we stay in bed for a while and talk. Yes, talk. Mostly.

It's so nice to have some time to sleep and catch up on what's going on. He's been so busy with his next-to-last semester of school (HOORAY!) that we don't get as much time to visit with each other as we'd like.

Last Saturday the doorbell rang. Since what I sleep in doesn't cover much, I tried to find the closest clothes to put on which took me a minute or so. Of course, my robe was nowhere to be found. I was terrified the kids would say "Come in!" which they've done before and I've told them never to do when they don't know who's at the door. Not so much that I'm afraid of them getting abducted, but because I don't want anyone to see our living room on a Saturday morning.

When I didn't hear the doorbell ring again as I ran down the hall, I was desperately grasping at the faint hope that it was a politician who had left a card. No such luck. I opened up the door without having peeked out my window first. Big mistake.

What could strike dread into the heart of this woman on a precious, coveted Saturday morning with her husband?

Jehovah's Witnesses.

Now I don't have anything against them. They are pretty nice people. Well, except for the time six years ago when this guy kept me talking at the door when I had crawled off the couch with the flu when the doorbell rang. It was winter, I had told him I was really sick and I was trying to keep little Professor from escaping out the door. I was practically hanging on the door frame, near collapse. Yes, I did support the troops and want to pray for them. No, I didn't want to stand there freezing listening to scripture. He only left when I think he noticed my grip on the door failing during the second scripture. Maybe he wasn't a Jehovah's Witness after all, as there were two or three women with him. I never saw him again, and I lost no tears over it.

But I digress. Mostly the problem is that Jehovah's Witnesses just seem to stop by at the most inopportune times. Usually when they find out I'm LDS they don't stay long. I'm really embarrassed to tell you that we play the "Hiding Game" when we see them coming down the street during the week. I close my blinds and the kids and I all huddle in their bedroom and stay quiet. I'll sneak out bending down so I won't be seen through the front door to see where they are in relation to our house. It's so sad on my part, but the kids think it's a kind of SPY GAME and love it! I'm weird. I don't like talking to strangers at my front door. My heart pounds as we hope not to get "caught" at home. I try to play it cool, talk about how fun and exciting it is so the kids won't get weird fears from me. It's pathetic, I know.

Jehovah's Witnesses aren't singled out. Nope, we extend the honor to any strangers whom I think may stay longer than I'd like. Especially people selling vacuums, special cleaner you can drink by the gallon without dying, and those young turkeys trying to sell magazines so they can win some exotic trip. I have no sympathy for those magazine guys. I'm an almost 30 year old woman (golden birthday, 30 on the 30th!) who hasn't even had a honeymoon. The only overnight trip I had with my husband since our wedding night at the hotel was the anniversary before last, where we spent the night without kids and went to the temple the next morning. It was wonderful, but I also wouldn't mind going to a temple in an exotic location. They're not getting any money from me until I get a trip to Hawaii too!

Yesterday I knew I was caught when a man was walking up my driveway and I knew he had seen me through the window. He knocked, I opened the door and he announced that he was so-and-so running for such-and-such, gave me a card and told me to have a nice day. I nearly opened the door to tell him that he had my vote because he wasn't long-winded! Now that's a man who respects a stay-at-home mom's time.

Anyway, like I started to say before I got all sidetracked and stuff, that Saturday morning there were two women on my doorstep. They had an adorable little girl with them. When I said "Hi." one woman stated, "We know you weren't expecting company." It was nice of them to put it so delicately. My hair was a mess, I had no bra on, needed a shower, I'm glad it was that obvious!

Then she talked about how the state of things in this country are going, and how a lot of people are scared, and did I have concerns about the future? "No,"--and here I smiled and gave them a knowing look--"I know what's going to happen." They looked a bit surprised--or wary, maybe. It could have been because of my hair. I casually mentioned "When Jesus comes back he'll take care of everything. I'm not worried." She asked me what church I belonged to and I told them, then she read me a scripture that is in "both of our Bibles". I took the pamphlet she gave so I could get back to James, thanked them, and they left.

I called down the hall to James, "It was just the J-Dubs!" That's what a lot of us Latter-Day Saints call Jehovah's Witnesses affectionately.

Professor, next to me in the living room, was a bit confused. His voice was puzzled as he said, "Chain Chomps?"

I couldn't explain to him for a bit because I was laughing so hard! If you have ever played any Mario games, you'll know what a Chain Chomp is.



Unfortunately for Jehovah's Witnesses, they will forever be referred to in our family as Chain Chomps. Respectfully and affectionately though, of course.

Magazine guys and vacuum cleaner salesmen? Watch out. You're next.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Tag! You're It!

My friend Jen tagged me back in June. JUNE! My sister just tagged me again, so I figure I'd better get started. I used to bemoan the fact that I never got tagged, and here I am with two luscious tags to play with. I'll bet you've never heard the word 'luscious' in conjunction with a tag before. :D

Eight Random Thoughts:

1) When will Professor finish his breakfast so we can start schoolwork?

2) Is Bugaboo pretending he's an airplane? He's not going to jump off of the couch, is he?

3) Beauty pageant contestants really need to stop wishing for world peace. Not gonna happen until Jesus comes back. Their wishing has no effect whatsoever on that.

4) I ate too many chocolate chips last night.

5) Man, I'm tired. But I sure did enjoy getting to talk to James last night. I've missed him a lot since he started school again.

6) I'm glad Bugaboo and Princess are playing together nicely. So far he hasn't jumped off of the couch.

7) It would be a good idea to finish getting dressed. I'm wearing pants and a shirt, but if I jump I just might break my kneecaps. (If you don't get this then you probably haven't had children, or have fantastic genes.)

8) Professor is done with breakfast. We'd better have circle time before a war breaks out amongst the natives. Reading a Book of Mormon story from our B of M Reader sounds like a great idea. I wonder if Bugaboo is going to dress up as Nephi again to "look for the plates".


RULES

1) each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

2) people who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.

3) at the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4) don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

This is where I'm a *devil-may-care-tossing-hair-back-laugh* rebel. I doubt I have eight people who read my blog or even care about this. So I will not tag eight, but I will tag some.

Karen, Kimberly, Mindy, and Michal.