Tuesday, February 26, 2008


I just found out that Bloglines messed up and hasn't told me that any of you have written anything new. I started to wonder now that it's Tuesday and I haven't seen anything new since Saturday. I know that some of you wouldn't leave your blogs for that long!

So, I'm giving fair warning. I'm coming to visit. That should give you enough time to run around vacuuming and stuffing dishes in the oven before I get there. (No, I haven't stuffed dishes in the oven in years. I forget them and they melt.) It may take me a while as this week is going to be the week from you-know-where. Professor is in a children's theatre and they're doing it start to finish in one week, with 4 1/2 hours of practices Wed-Fri nights, and I don't have enough babysitting for the other two so they have to go with me most of the time. I'm throwing a baby shower for my sister on Saturday. I have a huge co-op order coming in on Friday, visiting teaching on Wednesday and homeschool musical and science classes today.

The whole point of this is that I'll visit and comment when I can! I *sniff, sniff* miss you guys. I have something kinda funny to post for you when I get the chance. James and I have started going to bed early so we both can get up early and I can exercise. That takes care of my late night blog reading sessions. The something funny I have to tell you is what is propelling me to work out again. Kimberly, I got your emails and I am definitely going to take you up on your suggestion. I'll have to email you when I can.

Last night I told James I want a laptop with wireless internet connection access. He hopped online right away to look. He loves it when I'm interested in technology. I don't think I'll be getting one anytime soon unless we find a fantastic deal on a used one, but if I do you'll be hearing more from me.

In case you're wondering, I don't believe in pushing children to do things like plays or play instruments unless they have a desire to. Professor has a drive to act all on his own.

That said, I need to go help Professor learn some lines, so I'll catch you all later!

Saturday, February 23, 2008


I went to a local thrift store to find some boots and pants to alter for Professor's play costume. He's playing a workhouse child in our homeschool group's production of "Oliver Twist".

We got to the store, piled out of the van, and started down the sidewalk. There were two women setting a dresser on the sidewalk, with their car trunk open. They were alternately laughing and groaning, and looking like they didn't know what to do. I thought they were having problems getting the dresser into the car. It was a smaller, girly-looking dresser, white with some flower outlines painted on it.

I asked them if everything was ok, and they said "We're trying to get this coffeepot out of the drawer. It's stuck, and somebody peed in it." At first I wasn't sure I heard right, and took a step forward to look. They were right. "WHAT?" I exclaimed. "That's DISGUSTING!!!" They responded, "We bought it yesterday and it didn't have anything in it. Then we pick it up today and it has a coffeepot with pee in it."

I wasn't about to help them get it out of the drawer. I'm a nice person, but I have my limits. I wished them luck and went into the store. As I was getting Princess situated in the cart and the boys' coats thrown in there, one of the ladies brought the freed coffeepot inside the store and told the employees at the counter. Then she left. When everyone was coatless and happy, we turned the cart around to start shopping. There, right in full view like a decorative vase was the pot sitting there at the end of the counter for all to see. I almost gagged at the horrific sight. The employee behind the counter was looking at it and waving her hands around saying, "I'm not touching it, I can't touch that!" I looked at her and told her that "They said that nothing was in there when they bought it last night, but when they came to pick it up today it was there." She looked surprised, and I can't imagine what the people walking up to the counter thought when they saw it!

I have to wonder about the guy who did it. Of course it would be a guy, a woman wouldn't have the mechanics to do that, unless she brought in a jar. The furniture area and the housewares are in the same area. How hard is it to run to the other end of the store when the urge hits, and use the bathroom? If the men's room were occupied, I think any woman would excuse him for dashing into the women's restroom. Does this guy make a habit of leaving offerings in furniture? I'd hate to see his house. His toilet is probably sparkling because he never uses it.

We took our time around the store, and thankfully, the coffee pot was gone when it was time for us to leave. It continually shocks me how disgusting people can be! I just never thought I would ever see something like that, ever! Hopefully I don't have to ever again. Those poor employees.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I Can't Blame My Super-Human Strength.

On Sunday night at approximately 11:30 pm I heard a vehicle spinning in our road. I looked outside, and sure enough, a truck had come down our cul-de-sac and tried to turn around. We had gotten a lot of wet, slushy snow that morning (which canceled church) and much of it had frozen by night.

I listened to the truck tires spin so fast that he backfired. He kept at it. I told James there was someone stuck out there. He was on the computer doing a cool musical test (which I will post sometime). A few minutes passed.

Once the realization came that there was no way that truck was getting out unless it was because he wore a hole through to China, I got ready to go outside. James wasn't far behind, putting on his shoes as I went out the door.

The air was quite brisk and chill. One of our neighbors was trying to rock the truck back and forth out of the ice. As I walked up, I stepped on an area where the driver had spun his tires, turning it into glassy smooth, slick ice. Now, I am not a small gal by any stretch of the imagination, and trying to keep my footing on the ice--you can guess what happened. Yep, I went right down, thud. Our neighbor, a nice young guy (of course it would be that one!) reached out a hand and helped me up. At least I'm the type of girl to laugh off any embarrassment, goodness knows I've had enough practice.

I grabbed hold of the tailgate, and we rocked the truck back and forth while the driver spun his tires like mad. I remember thinking the houses in front of him would get a big shock if his wheels caught. We gave a big push, and got the truck going forward. Then he stopped! He actually stopped, and of course was stuck again. At this point James had come out of the house, and we told the guy to keep going this time.

I started rocking and pushing the truck with the others, and we got him moving. I kept running, because I didn't want to stop too soon, even though somehow I got behind the wheel and was getting pelted with slush from the tire. Suddenly, as I kept going I realized that no one else was pushing, and the truck was speeding up!

In a grand effort not to get dragged off down the street, I let go--and promptly crashed headlong into a nice, cold puddle of freshly melted ice.

I jumped up hastily before anyone could get to me. Freezing cold water tends to have that effect on a person. As I stood there a bit dazed, watching the truck weave away with the driver's side door open (was he waving?), I realized that I was still close enough for the final indignity of getting pelted up and down with tire sno-cone as he crawled down the street. I think it took a million years for him to get far enough away that the frozen slush stopped hitting me. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but that was how it felt.

I turned to James and the neighbor with ice decorating my coat, my side soaking from where I fell into the puddle, and my sweatpants soggily clinging to my thigh. I was so glad it was dark. They were both quiet. I said, with as much self-respect as I could muster, "Well I know what I'm going to do right now! I'm going to go inside and change". Silence. I made the doofy mistake of repeating myself, "Yep, I'm going to go into the house and change!" More silence. I don't think either of them knew what to say! "Um, I'm sorry that you're such a dork?" "I wondered how long you'd hold on?" "It was hilarious watching you fall into that puddle?" No, both were too gentlemanly for that.

The walk back to the house felt long, even though it was only about 25 feet. I got inside, freezing cold and wet, but happy in the knowledge that I helped someone. I even was proud of myself for being able to help push a truck.

My arm muscles were a little sore yesterday, but they got even more sore today. I figured it was just from them getting some exercise that they needed badly. But tonight my shoulder started hurting a bit. That's when I realized that I have a bit of light bruising on my left tricep.

My muscle soreness wasn't from my heroics. It was from the magnificent show I put on for anyone who was staring out of their window when they should have been outside helping. I shall call it, "The Art of Ice Diving". I hope there is no repeat performance. I'm sure those who witnessed this spectacular spectacle would agree that once was enough.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Ode to Pee

I'm sorry if this grosses you out, but don't worry. I'm grossed out too.

Do you feel or have you ever felt like you're drowning in pee? If you've never felt this, than skip this post. It's sure to make you sick. And yes, Princess calls her "Pull-Ups", "Fill-Ups".

Ode To Pee

Pee, pee, O glorious pee
Thou'rt something I can count on
Thou hast many names, such as urine and wee
And the dog sprays thee o'er the back lawn.

Thine odor I get a strong whiff of
In the morning when'er I rise
For due to my sons' errant overnight genes
“Getting dressed time” brings tears to mine eyes.

My daughter has wholly embraced thee.
She rarely will give thee up
to the gleaming white throne any Princess should love,
She'd rather leave thee in her “Fill-Ups”.

Alas, alas, I am drowning in pee
Stepped unwittingly on soggy underpants
Or overnight diapers, left on the floor.
Not amusing, that little dance.

When I tread in a puddle left on the tile
It is immediately telling
That I have a child, or two or three
Because of the foot I am smelling.

Pee, pee, O glorious pee
I bend to thy olfactory power.
The only thing that will best thee for good
Is soaking in warm tub or shower.

*Disclaimer: In case anyone thinks I'm disrespectful using 'thee' and 'thou' in this poem, it's actually Old English and the most familiar term of 'you' and 'yours'. Plus, all the bards were doing it.*

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Bugaboo, coming into Princess' room where I'm looking for a clean shirt for her to wear: "Mooommmm, Professor just said that he'll kick me in the faaaaaaccceee."

Me, calling down the hall: "Professor, stop talking to your brother that way RIGHT NOW or I'm taking your remote control car away". (He got it at the thrift store yesterday for being super extra good while getting ready for going out and while visiting teaching. My excuse? I told him that "Sometimes Heavenly Father rewards us for choosing the right by surprising us when we don't know it's coming". Ah yes, I'm sneaky like that.)

Bugaboo: "Moooom, he...."

Me, yelling down the hall: "IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO THE DENTIST!!!!!!!!!"


Professor: "Then we won't know if our teeth are clean or not!!!"

My kids love the dentist. I must be the only mother in the whole world who threatens NOT taking their children to the dentist as punishment!

Our appointments are at 3:00. Wish us luck!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Clutter Challenge Results!

The first thing I shall say is that as usual, I didn't get as much done as I would have liked.

The second thing I shall say is that I'm excited and will focus on what I have done! Plus, part of the time I would have been working we went to Sam's Club and I'm getting new glasses. It was so worth it! I had to wait until James could go with me since I'm blind as a bat and he has good taste. Goodbye, 11 year old scratched up, greenish turning, big lensed gross glasses! Whoohoo! (Disclaimer: I am very thankful that I've had glasses these past years, I know there are people in other countries who would love glasses. I can't help that I've hated mine for about...7 years. Still, I'm thankful.)

A couple of you were decluttering along with me this past weekend. Congratulations on your accomplishments! Seeing your list of decluttered stuff gives me inspiration to keep on!

I went through a whole big giant tv-sized box of giveaway stuff we put together during James' vacation in December. Why did I have to go through it again? Because it's in Princess' room and other things fell into it. So I went through that box, and came up with 4-5 trash bags full of clothes and toys, and I took a weird round wooden shelf thingy and DONATED IT. Why all caps? Because I'm never good at actually hauling the giveaway stuff out the door, let alone taking it anywhere. It tends to sit where I've placed it. Actually, that's not true. It breeds.

"Breeds?", you ask. Yes, it does. Somehow the giveaway stuff leaks out all over the floor, finds its soulmate and breeds a whole new family of disaster. Not so this past Saturday at our house!

I also got to sort and get a lot done in that room as far as things that didn't need to be given away....yet. *cue cackling laughter*

Something that was unplanned, was that I also started tackling the bathroom closet. I think I did that because I was sick of having bottles fall down on my head when looking for something. I threw out a whole bunch of expired stuff, and junk I didn't want anymore. I got baskets to fit the big shelves and that makes things a whole lot easier. I need to get some smaller ones for the side shelves and it's going to look awesome!

Ahh, baskets. The plastic Sterilite ones with holes. I think I've fallen in love.
I discovered them last year. I don't know why it took me this long. I guess I used to think that the baskets took up even more space that I could shove things in. Now I know that if I have more stuff than basket room I need to find another space for it or toss it. Oh, you little baskets, you! I could squeeze your little cheeks if you had any. You make my life so much easier. If I want cleaners? Take down the basket. Laundry stain removers? Basket. Sheets? Contained in a basket. Now they won't slide down to the floor! I have repented of my non-basket ways. They come in different sizes, and I loved the brown ones they had in the fall!

Once I get my bathroom closet done, I shall take a picture for you. I may not get to finish it until this weekend, but I shall persevere!

I have a lasagna in the oven, so I'd better sign off for now. It was what I was supposed to make for dinner yesterday, but I fell asleep. Late Saturday night + early church= longer than planned afternoon nap.

The kids are super tired. Hmmm....early bed? Then...maybe more decluttering? I need to find a way to stay in the zone. How do you all manage to stay on the path to liberation?

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Challenge!

Inspired by several blog posts I've read concerning clutter lately, I'm hereby issuing a challenge to myself. This challenge is a weekend of decluttering in one room! I'm picking one room in particular to work on , Princess' room. Or what's supposed to be her room, as it's been a catchall for everything and she has had a bed in our room since we moved in.

Anyone who wants to take the challenge with me will be rewarded by less stuff, more space and more peace!

I have to go to the store first, but I don't need to get much. I'll rely on simple meals and the crockpot this weekend. James gets home about 3:00, so I'll have another pair of eyes to watch the kids. Tomorrow is the ward chili cookoff, so if I make a huge pot we'll have enough for a day, at least!

This means that I have tonight and all day tomorrow to go through stuff. Right now my whole house is a mess, so for the next two hours until James gets home I'll be folding laundry and cleaning off countertops. Tonight I'll go through a bunch of junk and load up the van in the morning so I can get stuff out of the house to give away. I want to take another trip to get rid of stuff tomorrow afternoon. I think if I post this for all the world to see, it'll help me reach my goal.

On Monday I'll post my results. Declutterers of the world, UNITE!!!!!

I'm turning on the dance music...ready...set...GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Oh Yes, We Definitely Have This!

It snowed 10 inches last night. It's beautiful! This is the most snow we've gotten here in years! The boys don't have boots, so I'm going to have to think of what to put over their sneakers so they can play in it. Maybe grocery bags? They need to do something outside.

The last couple months of winter are so hard to get through. The kids drive me bonkers because they get tired of being indoors. I'm dreaming of warm spring breezes, and days of open windows and using the attic fan. Right now, there's no hope for us. This clip says it all.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Blog Fever

I'm finally recovering *cough* from the sickness *cough, cough* that has plagued me *cough, cough, sniff* for the last few days. Well, aside from a bit of coughing. Holding on to the kitchen sink helps when the urge hits.

I've had another ailment creeping up on me the last few days. I'm sure I caught it from the nice comments you all have left me recently. It started getting really bad yesterday after James got home from work.

Me: "Hi, Honey!" (Big kiss) "How was work?"
James: "Good. Really busy."
Me. "Here, read my blog post! It's not long."
(James sits down and reads. He laughs out loud not once, but several times.)
Me: (With a warm, squishy feeling that has not come from stepping on a wet pullup Princess bestowed upon the floor) "Yay! I made you laugh!"

James has a quirky sense of humor. I guess that's why he loves me. If I can make him laugh, especially several times, it warms me to the tips of my nose- er, toes. The only drawback is that I now have full-blown Blog Fever. The symptoms are a brain that won't be quiet, that talks back and tries to turn everything into something blogworthy in hopes of acquiring more warm and squishy feelings.

It started taking over my defenseless self last night when I was trying to fall asleep, and was in full force this morning.

I woke up to thunder. We have snow falling and there was lots of low-rumbling thunder, like the snow clouds' tummies wanted breakfast. Hmm. Thunderous snow. I could write a post about that.... Thunder filled the sky as the snow fell down... Um, no.

Then it progressively got worse.

While cooking scrambled eggs: And then I cracked 8 eggs in the bowl! Can you believe it? 8 eggs for me and three kids. Next, after I poured a splash of silky soy milk into the bowl and added a pinch of salt, not sea, the regular kind- Oh, this is ridiculous. Stop right now! Fogettaboutit. Where was I? Oh, yeah. With a self-satisfied smile, I poured the pale yellow whipped concoction into my well seasoned cast iron pan- Stop it, you're driving me insane! I stood there stirring occasionally as the liquid gold turned into piles of light, fluffy goodness. My darling, beloved children devoured them hastily, while smiley-faced and full of glee. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next, I made hash browns.

When I pulled the bag out of the freezer, they were in one lump? Can you believe that? I guess I didn't get them in fast enough when I came home from the store. Isn't that hilarious? Great. Here we go again. I pounded some of the little suckers loose with my fist, then smacked the bag against my chest before banging the last stuck bits of frozen potatoey goodness on the floor to be blown apart. Uh, do they really need to know about the banging the hash brown bag on the chest part? Yes, they do. It adds to the comedic element necessary for a fun post. Ooookkaayy.

I dished up the hash browns, soft white with crunchy brown buttery flecks, and we devoured them. Whew! There. End of story. Of course, that is NOT going on the blog. It isn't? NO!

(In a meek voice) Ok. I guess I can understand that. Oh, I know, how about the thing Professor said on Sunday? (Getting excited) You remember, when you told James that we really shouldn't have the game on and Professor said "Yeah, and it's not a BYU game", and you laughed at the thought of it being Sunday appropriate if it were BYU playing? Yes. I remember that. But I don't want to post something that short. Please go away, I'm tired of this.

What about how you and James had so much fun late last night talking about politics and grammar, even though you don't know all the grammar rules? Hey! That last part was a cheap shot. Anyway, if I blog about that everyone will know how boring we are. You could- I said that's enough! You won't be quiet, FINE! I'll drown you out with Dora the Explorer. That's enough to induce a coma in anyone. If that doesn't work, I have tons of Erasure on the computer. You can't talk when I listen to that because I'm constantly trying to figure out what Andy Bell is saying. Sniffle. Oh, please don't cry. Sorry, I can't take such abuse! Really, just please try not to talk to me all the time. Save it for about an hour a day, preferably when I'm folding laundry or something. I guess I could try... No. Just do it. Remember the wise words of Yoda. "Do or do not, there is no try." Alright. *sniffle* Silence. Ah, blessed silence. Wait!---nothing. Good.

*Relieved sigh* I'm going to go drink my tea.

The Celestial Seasonings Roastaroma tea was perfectly brewed, but cold. The chill necessitated putting the tall snowman mug in the microwave to get hot. Hot, not warm, because of the icy cold soymilk that would turn this delightful cup of joy to a steaming, not scalding ambrosia of bliss.
Now you're putting in PICTURES TOO? That's it. (Pushes play on Erasure. Sings along.)

"There's a kid at the door and nothing's going right.
Something strange is happening to me.
He's been here before and his face is turning red
Maybe the poor guy just has to pee."

"Who needs love like that?
Who needs love like that?"

(Takes a sip of tea between verses.)

Now that's more like it!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Super Bowl?

I've been hearing a lot about this thing called a 'super bowl'. Hmmm...what could that mean? Let's see...

Aha! I have a pretty super bowl. Do you see the yellow one on the bottom?

That is my favorite bowl. I think it's pretty super. My mom gave me one for Christmas two Christmases ago, and it's perfect. The look, the heft, the feel of the cool, smooth surface. It's a wonderful size for mashed potatoes or a double batch of the best chocolate chip cookies EVER. It can be mixed in, microwaved in and baked in. It's an antique, so it has personality. I have the green one too, but the color is mostly worn off so it can't ever attain super status.

Poor green bowl. But how could millions of people know about my yellow bowl? They must be referring to some other bowl....aha! I've got it!

Now, THIS must be the bowl everyone's talking about. I heard that for some odd reason yesterday that thousands of people ate chili and other spicy food. What was all that about? Anyway, I'm thinking they will be soooo thankful for this super bowl! What would we do without it? Oh yeah. This.

That would be pretty cold. Especially if there was snow on the ground. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't care to have wild animals staring at me in such a....vulnerable position.

What did you say? That's not the 'super bowl' that has been on everyone's minds? Hmm....

Could you mean......this?


Sorry. I got a little carried away there. I told my husband he should turn off the game, since it was Sunday. He didn't. It's his fault I watched the end.

What do you mean I have my own agency? Ok. Point taken.

Go Giants!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Folks, We Have a Winner!

Since Mindy so kindly bestowed this award on me, I've been pondering who to give it to. I chose someone who doesn't post every day, but when I'm actively trying to get in shape I need a daily dose of her posts! Who is this guru of weight loss? I'm talking about Calamity Jane and her blog, A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind!

She's a huge inspiration, and I mean huge because she's not. She lost 70 pounds with prayer, diet and exercise. I've been slacking reading her posts because I've gained back some of the pounds I've lost, and I don't want to feel guilty. I've started reading her again because I need help to get back on the exercise bandwagon. I've been royally stinking at that lately, and her example helps me to get back to it. She's very thought-provoking and gives a lot of the credit to Heavenly Father. She relies on His help to stay committed, and because of that her blog is different (and better!) than all the other weight loss blogs out there. She shows us that losing weight is hard work, but is achievable. She shows me that making mistakes or even seeing the scale go up a bit is a wake up call, not something to beat yourself up over. Because she shares her flubs with her readers, she is much more real as an ongoing success story and a super hero to me!

*cue drumroll* ......So, without further adieu, I hereby bestow with all it entails.......
Go on, Calamity. Take it. You deserve it!