Ok, so life has been very stressful lately. I can't stop thinking about everything that's been going on.
I also have a touch of anxiety disorder, I believe. I get very uncomfortable at the thought of going anywhere like a doctor's office. Uncomfortable is a rather mild word. I basically freak out. I have a hard time making phone calls to people who are not my family. The thought of anything that I have to do besides grocery shopping makes me panic. You could call me a homebody.
I have three appointments this week, and a dead van. This means that in order to have my husband's van I will need to take him to work, with the kids. When we get back home from going anywhere in the morning, my kids turn into sluggish sloths. They don't want to do anything. No schoolwork, nothing. It's like pulling teeth, and I don't feel like fighting battles right now.
I'm a little nervous about meeting the new endocrinologist. I'm stressing about finding all the information needed to apply for assistance to help with medical bills. I had hoped never to have to do that again, but you do what you have to. I'm stressing about getting the van fixed. James has had to spend all weekend at work with a crashed database when it's finals week. I'm concerned that I don't feel horrible morning sickness like I did with the other kids, although it was better with the last pregnancy. Usually by now I'd be barfing at least twice per day. Now, I only feel a little nauseated now and then. This makes me wonder if the baby's ok.
Everyone's taken turns being sick. I'm finally getting over the awful sinus thing I've had. Today I was so tired, and so was Princess. I asked her if she wanted to snuggle with me and take a nap. We were just drifting off to sleep when she threw up all over me and my bed.
I couldn't leave her much this afternoon. I was the bucket runner, at least she knew about 2.6 seconds before she threw up that she was going to. Well, except for that second time when she threw up on me.
She wanted me to hold her while she slept. Of course, I obliged. Sitting there, stroking my baby's head while she fell asleep, every other care in the world melted away. It all didn't matter. There I was, holding one of the loves of my life, keeping her safe, watching her sleep.
Somehow, it put everything into perspective.