Night before last I had a really vivid, weird dream.
If you are my mom or sister you'll probably start shaking your head and groaning. Why? Because whenever I tell them "I had a dream last night" the first words out of any of my family's mouth are "Oh no." That's because I have some of the weirdest dreams in history.
The funny thing is that I usually can remember certain things that triggered specific parts of the dream. The other night I'm sure it was seeing "Failure to Launch" on TV Sunday night. I also wish that TBS hadn't agreed to show nudity, especially since I was treated to the sight of Terry Bradshaw from behind twice! I stopped trying to poke my eyes out this morning.
Anyway, in that movie Matthew McConaughey's character keeps getting bitten by animals. One of the cringe-inducing moments was when he was rock climbing and a lizard, hiding in a crevice, decided to try to make a meal out of his finger. I'm quite sure that is what I need to hold responsible for this dream.
I was standing by a stone wall, at some park or something. There was a snake in a crevice in the wall. (It being a snake was from all the talk of snakes we had when our hometeachers were over on Sunday.) It was some kind of deadly poisonous snake. I had never seen one with coloring like it before. It was tan and brown with a long arrow shaped metallic blue streak on the side of its underbelly, and green somewhere else.
I don't remember how it got me, but it did. I think it chased me and I twisted and turned to get away, but it bit my foot. (The foot thing was from watching Steve Martin get shot in the foot on "The Three Amigos". That's what I get from watching TV on Sunday, I guess.)
There were people around me and no one was calling 911, for some reason James was trying to get me to walk and I knew I shouldn't because the poison would spread. So, I called 911 myself and tried not to walk too much. My leg swelled up and was huge! It also got super red where the swelling was, and I was trying to describe it to the 911 dispatcher. I remember being surprised that I wasn't dead yet.
The last thing I remember was waiting for someone to show up with an ambulance. I think I was about to drive myself to the hospital, as the dispatcher on the phone didn't show any urgency.
The point of this dream is something we all can learn from. Two points, actually:
#1. Never think you can depend on another living human if you're bitten by a super poisonous snake that no one is familiar with. They won't think it's as serious as it is, and you may die. #2. Keep a suit of body armor in your car in case you find yourself at a park with a brick wall.
Want to hear another dream? Oh, your dog's sick and you have to take him to the vet? Ok, another time then.