You didn't know that I have a nemesis, did you?
If you know me personally you might be surprised to hear this. I, who avoid confrontation at all costs, have a nemesis.
He's downright evil.
Even so, he seems to have a right to be here no matter how I'm feeling. I wish I could kick him out, but he has such a hold on me...
Oh, sometimes he tries to pretend he's my friend. When I say hello I'm never sure how he'll react. Most of the time he's unkind, even demeaning. But at times he's almost sweet, and nearly fools me for a day--but never more than two. Then he goes right back to being the biggest scumbag on the planet.
He's not perfect looking. His gorgeous exterior has been marred. A big scar appeared across his previously clear face somehow in the last few days. I've been both feeling slightly sorry for him (because after all, I do have a heart) and wishing I had put it there. Goodness knows there are days I could gleefully stomp on his face. But I don't, because in hurting him I only hurt myself.
So why do I keep going back for punishment? I'm not sure. I feel like part of me will be lost if I kick him out. Plus, in a sick way he keeps me in line. You know that line about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer? Exactly. Although I suspect that if I could keep him away for at least a week at a time perhaps I would slowly be able to make some progress on my own and not be so dependent.
Even if I kick him out, I still need to see him now and then. I can't break myself of this. I tried kicking him out for a few months 9 years ago, but by the time I let him back in my life I was a mess. He made life even harder for me when he was away. Better to keep him semi-close.
I really, truly hate him. There are moments I could kiss him, but mostly I hate him. Even in those brief, kissable moments I still hate him because of what I'm sure he'll do to me tomorrow. Although, I never cease to hope.
He's leaving for a week. I haven't told him, but he's going. Would you like to meet him before I kick him out? He looks a little different in these pictures. I think he's had some work done since. One of them shows him in action. I don't know who he's with, but he's a whole lot nicer to her than to me. I don't get it. What did I ever do to him?
Hmm...you know, maybe part of it's my fault. After all, I do think he's beneath me. I step all over him every day, sometimes several times a day. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he hates me. Now I feel guilty. I'm going to send him on an all expense paid vacation for a week, maybe two.
Yes, that's it. A nice location. Peaceful, quiet, dim light perfect for resting.