Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Nemesis.

You didn't know that I have a nemesis, did you?

If you know me personally you might be surprised to hear this. I, who avoid confrontation at all costs, have a nemesis.

He's downright evil.

Even so, he seems to have a right to be here no matter how I'm feeling. I wish I could kick him out, but he has such a hold on me...

Oh, sometimes he tries to pretend he's my friend. When I say hello I'm never sure how he'll react. Most of the time he's unkind, even demeaning. But at times he's almost sweet, and nearly fools me for a day--but never more than two. Then he goes right back to being the biggest scumbag on the planet.

He's not perfect looking. His gorgeous exterior has been marred. A big scar appeared across his previously clear face somehow in the last few days. I've been both feeling slightly sorry for him (because after all, I do have a heart) and wishing I had put it there. Goodness knows there are days I could gleefully stomp on his face. But I don't, because in hurting him I only hurt myself.

So why do I keep going back for punishment? I'm not sure. I feel like part of me will be lost if I kick him out. Plus, in a sick way he keeps me in line. You know that line about keeping your friends close but your enemies closer? Exactly. Although I suspect that if I could keep him away for at least a week at a time perhaps I would slowly be able to make some progress on my own and not be so dependent.

Even if I kick him out, I still need to see him now and then. I can't break myself of this. I tried kicking him out for a few months 9 years ago, but by the time I let him back in my life I was a mess. He made life even harder for me when he was away. Better to keep him semi-close.

I really, truly hate him. There are moments I could kiss him, but mostly I hate him. Even in those brief, kissable moments I still hate him because of what I'm sure he'll do to me tomorrow. Although, I never cease to hope.

He's leaving for a week. I haven't told him, but he's going. Would you like to meet him before I kick him out? He looks a little different in these pictures. I think he's had some work done since. One of them shows him in action. I don't know who he's with, but he's a whole lot nicer to her than to me. I don't get it. What did I ever do to him?

 know, maybe part of it's my fault. After all, I do think he's beneath me. I step all over him every day, sometimes several times a day. Come to think of it, maybe that's why he hates me. Now I feel guilty. I'm going to send him on an all expense paid vacation for a week, maybe two.

Yes, that's it. A nice location. Peaceful, quiet, dim light perfect for resting.

The closet.


Kimberly said...

Oh you make me laugh! I had no idea till I saw the picture!

Michal said...

i was wracking my brain, trying to figure out who this nemesis could be. i giggled, then groaned when i found out. i actually weighed myself for the first time in ages (i don't have a scale at home right now) and wanted to DIE. not pretty. at. all.

good luck with the time off.

mindyluwho said...

Cute! Can I send mine on vacation with yours?

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

dropped by to "meet" you. Thanks for your comment on my blog. For my own sanity, I have never even purchases a scale... in my whole life!

I have to tell you that it was a little weird reading your profile... married 9 years... 2 boys, 1 girl... even the picture of the 3 of them looks like my kids. Fun to find someone with that much in common. Hope to "see" you again. :)

Karen said...

I pretty much knew what it was, but then...I am your sister! I think we have a common enemy.

She's in the kitchen! said...

Okay, this monster is also on my list of common enemies! That's why it is out in the hall upstairs, easily passed by when running to and from...not to be in sight for more than a second, lest I might be tempted to partake of its ill-welcomed laughter! I think your nemesis needs to be sent away for Christmas...permanently! Re-gifting is a good thing!

Blue's Dad said...

I really apreciated you checking out my blog and leaving the good comments you did. I also enjoyed your blog and the introduction to new music. I feel pretty fortunate that I have not done like some of my peers and remained stuck in the music from my generation. Check my playlist on my blog and you'll see a wide variety of music...hmmm, I feel a post coming ;-)

Kizzie said...

This was a hilarious post, love it.
But who really even has a feeling close to like for that wretched machine!?