Sunday, February 17, 2008

Ode to Pee

I'm sorry if this grosses you out, but don't worry. I'm grossed out too.

Do you feel or have you ever felt like you're drowning in pee? If you've never felt this, than skip this post. It's sure to make you sick. And yes, Princess calls her "Pull-Ups", "Fill-Ups".

Ode To Pee

Pee, pee, O glorious pee
Thou'rt something I can count on
Thou hast many names, such as urine and wee
And the dog sprays thee o'er the back lawn.

Thine odor I get a strong whiff of
In the morning when'er I rise
For due to my sons' errant overnight genes
“Getting dressed time” brings tears to mine eyes.

My daughter has wholly embraced thee.
She rarely will give thee up
to the gleaming white throne any Princess should love,
She'd rather leave thee in her “Fill-Ups”.

Alas, alas, I am drowning in pee
Stepped unwittingly on soggy underpants
Or overnight diapers, left on the floor.
Not amusing, that little dance.

When I tread in a puddle left on the tile
It is immediately telling
That I have a child, or two or three
Because of the foot I am smelling.

Pee, pee, O glorious pee
I bend to thy olfactory power.
The only thing that will best thee for good
Is soaking in warm tub or shower.

*Disclaimer: In case anyone thinks I'm disrespectful using 'thee' and 'thou' in this poem, it's actually Old English and the most familiar term of 'you' and 'yours'. Plus, all the bards were doing it.*


elasticwaistbandlady said...

I kept reading the first couple lines in an Oliver Twists voice. It conjured up images of orphans belting out a chorus of "Pee, Glorious Peeeeeee!"

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Think your pee post is gross? Try this one!
A Hot Steaming Bowl!

mindyluwho said...

Oh how I empathize with thee,
Having my own House of Pee,
Often on my bended knee
Wiping up spills, not one, but three!

Oh woe is we!

Nancy Face said...

Hahaha, I loved it! :D

Offended? ME? Surely thou doth jest! Last night my family enjoyed a beautiful candlelight Valentine's dinner together, and as usual, the conversation turned to poop.

Dedee said...

Ah me, methinks I must weep at the words that thou hast written. They bring to my remembrance past times and future glories untold.

Rebecca said...

Elastic- Yes, that other post was more gross. Is that Millie in yet another disguise? And how funny that you should say Oliver Twist, because Professor is in that play in May.

Mindy- I lol'd at that one!

Nancy Face- How romantic. ;)

Dedee- So poetic. Don't you miss those days?

Rebecca said...

Wait- I think I know who that is, Elastic. And I don't think it's Millie. ;)

Michal said...

I'm better at limiricks . . .

I too, am disgusted by pee,
Its stench wafting up, up to me
Every time that I find
A wet bed of this kind,
I wish that housekeepers were free!

Kimberly said...

Hee hee! You're so cute!

Jen said...

Well, if the bards were doing it, then that's OK. LOL.

I'm dying laughing at "Fill ups". My DD sleeps in pull ups too, and all week I could not figure out why her room smelled like one. Then yesterday I did laundry, and found a pull up in the dryer. She'd just tossed it in the dirty clothes! Gah!

Mamita said...

Oh, wonderful poetry. Very amusing. I just made my daughter get a trash bag yesterday and pick up the wet pull-ups she's left in her closet. She then proceeded to look under the bed. Then the other side. She racked up more than ten wet stinky pull-ups. Disgusting. And she's almost 7 too!!! I truly understand this poem.

p.s. These are her overnight pull-ups. Yes, she has been potty trained for many years, so don't worry.