Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Blog Fever



I'm finally recovering *cough* from the sickness *cough, cough* that has plagued me *cough, cough, sniff* for the last few days. Well, aside from a bit of coughing. Holding on to the kitchen sink helps when the urge hits.

I've had another ailment creeping up on me the last few days. I'm sure I caught it from the nice comments you all have left me recently. It started getting really bad yesterday after James got home from work.

Me: "Hi, Honey!" (Big kiss) "How was work?"
James: "Good. Really busy."
Me. "Here, read my blog post! It's not long."
(James sits down and reads. He laughs out loud not once, but several times.)
Me: (With a warm, squishy feeling that has not come from stepping on a wet pullup Princess bestowed upon the floor) "Yay! I made you laugh!"

James has a quirky sense of humor. I guess that's why he loves me. If I can make him laugh, especially several times, it warms me to the tips of my nose- er, toes. The only drawback is that I now have full-blown Blog Fever. The symptoms are a brain that won't be quiet, that talks back and tries to turn everything into something blogworthy in hopes of acquiring more warm and squishy feelings.

It started taking over my defenseless self last night when I was trying to fall asleep, and was in full force this morning.

I woke up to thunder. We have snow falling and there was lots of low-rumbling thunder, like the snow clouds' tummies wanted breakfast. Hmm. Thunderous snow. I could write a post about that.... Thunder filled the sky as the snow fell down... Um, no.

Then it progressively got worse.

While cooking scrambled eggs: And then I cracked 8 eggs in the bowl! Can you believe it? 8 eggs for me and three kids. Next, after I poured a splash of silky soy milk into the bowl and added a pinch of salt, not sea, the regular kind- Oh, this is ridiculous. Stop right now! Fogettaboutit. Where was I? Oh, yeah. With a self-satisfied smile, I poured the pale yellow whipped concoction into my well seasoned cast iron pan- Stop it, you're driving me insane! I stood there stirring occasionally as the liquid gold turned into piles of light, fluffy goodness. My darling, beloved children devoured them hastily, while smiley-faced and full of glee. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next, I made hash browns.

When I pulled the bag out of the freezer, they were in one lump? Can you believe that? I guess I didn't get them in fast enough when I came home from the store. Isn't that hilarious? Great. Here we go again. I pounded some of the little suckers loose with my fist, then smacked the bag against my chest before banging the last stuck bits of frozen potatoey goodness on the floor to be blown apart. Uh, do they really need to know about the banging the hash brown bag on the chest part? Yes, they do. It adds to the comedic element necessary for a fun post. Ooookkaayy.

I dished up the hash browns, soft white with crunchy brown buttery flecks, and we devoured them. Whew! There. End of story. Of course, that is NOT going on the blog. It isn't? NO!

(In a meek voice) Ok. I guess I can understand that. Oh, I know, how about the thing Professor said on Sunday? (Getting excited) You remember, when you told James that we really shouldn't have the game on and Professor said "Yeah, and it's not a BYU game", and you laughed at the thought of it being Sunday appropriate if it were BYU playing? Yes. I remember that. But I don't want to post something that short. Please go away, I'm tired of this.

What about how you and James had so much fun late last night talking about politics and grammar, even though you don't know all the grammar rules? Hey! That last part was a cheap shot. Anyway, if I blog about that everyone will know how boring we are. You could- I said that's enough! You won't be quiet, FINE! I'll drown you out with Dora the Explorer. That's enough to induce a coma in anyone. If that doesn't work, I have tons of Erasure on the computer. You can't talk when I listen to that because I'm constantly trying to figure out what Andy Bell is saying. Sniffle. Oh, please don't cry. Sorry, I can't take such abuse! Really, just please try not to talk to me all the time. Save it for about an hour a day, preferably when I'm folding laundry or something. I guess I could try... No. Just do it. Remember the wise words of Yoda. "Do or do not, there is no try." Alright. *sniffle* Silence. Ah, blessed silence. Wait!---nothing. Good.

*Relieved sigh* I'm going to go drink my tea.

The Celestial Seasonings Roastaroma tea was perfectly brewed, but cold. The chill necessitated putting the tall snowman mug in the microwave to get hot. Hot, not warm, because of the icy cold soymilk that would turn this delightful cup of joy to a steaming, not scalding ambrosia of bliss.
Now you're putting in PICTURES TOO? That's it. (Pushes play on Erasure. Sings along.)

"There's a kid at the door and nothing's going right.
Something strange is happening to me.
He's been here before and his face is turning red
Maybe the poor guy just has to pee."

"Who needs love like that?
Who needs love like that?"

(Takes a sip of tea between verses.)

Now that's more like it!

5 comments:

Kimberly said...

Bwahahahah!

I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't encourage you...but that was hilarious! Most especially because I do that -all- the time.

At Becca's birthday Neil said something funny/slightly offensive and I laughed and shouted, "That is soooo going on my blog!"

Problem is...I can't remember what it was. Hmmm...

mindyluwho said...

Oh my sides hurt from laughing! You. Are. Funny!!!!

Alas, it's a sickness we all must go through. I had to take a couple of weeks off from blogging awhile ago to detox myself. It sort of worked, but not completely. I'm like Kim, something happens or someone says something that would be so perfect to blog about and then I forget what it was when the time comes!

Dedee said...

That was so funny. I do it too. It's horrible. Too bad I don't remember most of it.

Mamita said...

So I see your Blog Fever managed to find a way to post anyway! Very sneaky!

Michal said...

i think we all do it. but your documentation of blog fever was hysterical.
i recently discovered google reader and was just wondering why you hadn't posted in so long when i realized that someone i wasn't subscribed to your blog. yikes. hence, i am catching up tonight with a week and a half of posts. it's almost like a blog binge!:)